ummm..... rambling thoughts? joseph?

it been...... interesting, things have been weird.  and i cant lie, its been really REALLY hard for me.  i have to take it super easy which in turn has made me feel- well, rather useless.  i dont say any of this for pity or whatever, it is just there,  its been hard.  and i know techincally speaking i know i am not being lazy or whatnot, but i hate being so idle.  i know i am keeping a baby in, and that is a really good thing, but still, idleness, yuck.  i never realized how much i take advantage of what i do, or i guess what i CAN do.  i have such a limit of what i can do, and then the days that i really do feel good, i still cant do everything that i need/want to because it will wipe me out for the next day, and that night for sure.  but it will all work out, if joe can survive.  poor guy.  i definately married well  =)  but i think that he is getting tired of my MIA-ness.  just like me though, he knows it is necessary.  so he does it and deals with it.  he really is so amazing, i am so blessed that he is so hands on and supportive and understanding.  he really is great, i dont know if i could ever say how much i love him and how great he is.
being valentines day- i guess this is my mushy post about him.  we really didnt do much, we are exhausted, mentally, physicallly, and emotionally.  so my gift to him, he didnt have to do anything for me (even though its one of my favorite holidays, hes not much into valentines, i think he thinks its a hallmark holiday.  =) heehee)  and i think he appricitated it.  he did get me some chocolates.  he knows what i like.
so i think i might start babbling......
i have tried to do cheesy cute things for him.  ya know get the bag of Risen candies and then take a little thing that says 'Oh how i love thee, let me count the risens.' and on each candy have a reason.  and after about 10 things, i had to stop.  not because i couldnt think of why i love him,but because i knew i couldnt put paragraphs on the candy.  how can i not be smitten daily with joe?  not only is he really pleasant to look at, but we have great converstations.  and he knows me.  i mean he really knows me.  he can read me like a book, and he knows what i need and when i need it.  he knows what to say to me, and how to say it and how often to say it.  which right now, with number 4 coming, i will be honest i am freaking out.  4 is a lot.  that is crazy.  but he has so much confidence in me.  more then i have in myself most times.  but he has such faith in me, and i think he truly knows i can handle 4 kids.  the confidence he has in me, is so reassuring.  i know i can do it with him.  we can do it.
anyway.  that is my sappy post.  i love him.  i love him, and i am blessed he is mine forever.  =)  i will forever be able to say that he is mine and i am his.  i always thought that was the cheesinest thing in the world to say and think and whatever.  but i dont think i knew why it was said, until i felt it.  and i feel it and i know it.
happy valentines joey.  i love you.

(see that wasnt too long and cheesy was it?)